9.11.09

hOmEsIcK. ♥




















{WARNING: don't read if you are from utah because you will hate me!}


so i am pretty sure my in laws think i am miserable living in utah, but i am not i love it! it has really grown on me, but it is and will never take the place of home! i cannot even tell you how much i miss california. everything little thing about it. {yes, i am about to vent} i always get so sad when i see friends from back home that i haven't seen in a while because it makes me think of home. i miss the crisp air in the fall and winter months. i miss NOT having to put snow tires on. i get annoyed when people from utah say the weather is so beautiful right now because i want to say to them, "imagine how i feel, i used to have this weather all YEAR round!!!!" i miss pizookie's from bjs. i miss my best friends who i am slowly starting to loose contact with because life is so busy. i miss my parents house. i miss riding quads and four wheelers and shooting trap with my family and friends. i miss driving around and seeing places where i've made a memory. i miss helping my mom get ready for christmas. i miss having rain in december and january. i miss the galleria. i miss lake tahoe. i miss my favorite frozen yogurt shop. i miss knowing where everything is and not getting lost. i miss boating. i miss the cabin. i miss falling asleep by the fireplace. i miss my family, not just my immediate but my extended. i miss MY GRANDMA and GRANDPA!!! i miss being able to fill up my car with gas at my parents house. i miss my home ward. i miss lincoln. i miss the simple things in life and my mom always reminding me. i miss the country. i never thought i would ever miss it, but i do! i hate living in town and having neighbors 5 feet away from your bedroom window. i don't understand how people can even have a childhood living in town. what is there to do? i now wonder how kids even learn how to drive without having four wheelers or property to practice on? ha ha. i miss road trips to san fran & santa cruz. i miss down to earth people. i just miss home. i want to move back so bad. i know that this is where we will be for the next little while, at least until nick finishes school but i hate more than anything being away from home. lately, i have been getting a little anxiety because i feel like i am stuck here and we will never move. i get so worried thinking about the future and starting a family and living away from my parents. that is the one thing that freaks me out more than anything is having kids that don't get to see my parents except for 4 or 5 times a year. i want them to have a relationship with them. i see so many kids who don't have a relationship with their grandparents or extended family members and it makes me sad because that is such a fun part of growing up. making memories with family. i know some people are reading this and rolling their eyes, but this is truly how i feel and i don't care if you think i am ridiculous for not loving utah. i gave it a chance. the only thing i love about utah is my husband, his family and the friends i have made here. everything else is just not the same and not as good. i feel so spoiled to have grown up where i did because to me it was perfect! i wouldn't have changed a thing. sorry if this offended anyone because i do not mean to, i am just realllllyyyy homesick.

7 comments:

Christian and Janay said...

Kaysi! I love you! I miss you so much! I totally remember being away at school. Being homesick is the worst. You can come back to Cali and hang out with me anytime. hahaha. You have to come home in JUNE!!!!!!!!!!! :) please! hahaha. I am begging you! I know what you mean about California just being the best place. close enough to visit the snow and be able to do all that fun stuff but then you go home at the end and there is no snow! it only rains, which is like the best ever! I know you'll make it through and it is still fun to have a white christmas! and you are close to your parents! At least they moved to Idaho so now its only like 3 hours instead of 12!!! hahaha. :) love you tons! Miss you lots!!!

kirsten and josh said...

i know i know. i dread the day i may have to leave CA. i would probably die. i understand you a MILLION percent! :D

Alexander and Whitney Kerr said...

I could not agree more.. I feel the same way about Ga. Although I do love Cali. All of my extended family lives there pretty much. I always tell Alex that if for some reason we cant move to the south the only other place I would live is in Cali. :) But yeah I miss home... big holidays too and I am definitely excited cause I get to go back in a month.

Drew and Nikki said...

aw, sweetie! I totally feel for you. I dont so much miss home and I do Utah.. well I guess I miss oklahoma too. It's just totally different being someplace else huh?

and hey, atleast you get to see your parents 4-5 times a year. I'm lucky if I get to see mine once! and if a true emergency, yours are the next state over. Mine are like 32 hours away!! so through it all, just remember... Nikki in Arizona has it worse ;) hahaha

oh the things we do for our loveys huh

Brittany said...

Aw Kaysi you are so sweet and totally make me appreciate living where I do!! There are times when I think gosh it would be so nice to just have my own space and not live in the same area that I grew up in but I totally agree that there is just something about home...especially when it's Cali!! You don't sound spoiled at all! I LOVE the country too and LOVED living where we did!! Hopefully someday soon you can come back home!

Hammer said...

This made me want to cry...ok maybe i did. but seriously i miss Cali too. It is so weird not seeing familiar faces in the grocery store or having to map quest every little thing you do. I really do love Boise. It is such a great place to raise a family. But i want to be by my family too. (i want free babysitters!!!) but you know what, the last time we went home I realized that I totally ran away from any problems that came up. Not that they were big, but when the kids were crying and i needed a break i would just "pawn" them off. Or when i was mad at Matt I left his parents house and went to mine. I am so grateful to not have that here! Being in Boise has forced me to work out my problems on my own. I have really been able to grow here. So, anyway, it is totally ok to get homesick and want to vent. Truthfully it helped me a lot to read your post- to know I am not the only one.(seriously)

take care! we need to talk more!!!
JAmie

Adriana Cecelia said...

Kaysi I completely understand! Think about it this way....at least you are on the same continent as your family! Haha...I miss California too. I miss things being in English. I miss Mexican food. I think this summer we need to get all our high school buddies together and go rent a cabin in Lake Tahoe for the weekend and rekindle. I love you girl!